Estimated reading time: 8 minutes
At the end of the day, she winds down with an ice cold beer and a Black and Mild cigar, wood tip of course. The day was so stressful, she felt like she could hardly breathe. Why does she put herself in these situations? Why is she so serious and annoying? These are the questions she asks herself as she stares at the night sky.
She ponders, does life have to be so difficult? She takes a puff and swig. Goddamn why does Budweiser have to go so well with a Black and Mild? She ponders…
Here at night, on her balcony, in the dark, alone – she is free. Where did the pent up anxiety from earlier go? What happened to that worry about the piled up dishes and that stupid thing she said to her coworkers? She takes another puff. It doesn’t matter. And another swig.
That’s the funny thing about the night sky, sure it’s dark and mysterious; but it’s also profoundly peaceful. Is there life out there? Life outside of the mundane she experiences on the daily? She hopes so…and takes another puff and a swig.
Listen, the night isn’t perfect either. It can be scary seeing nothing but darkness and hearing nothing but your own racing thoughts. She’s afraid, but she’s comfortable. Is that possible? Afraid but comfortable. Maybe it’s being alone that clears her mind and makes her feel safe? She takes another puff and a swig.
She loves the stars because they are her friends. The possibilities hiding among them are simple, she just needs to look a little bit closer and she will see them clearly. *A puff and a swig.* The stars do not judge her. They do not think she’s too deep or serious; instead they listen to her. They appreciate her depth and openness. Among the stars she is whole and ready for anything.
She comes alive as she takes another puff and a swig. No one can stop her out here among the stars. She can see the path forward and she has no desire to go any other way. The anxiety that plagues her in the daytime is always cured temporarily by the bright shining moonlight, and the absence of. Whether the moon rests or comes alive, she is safe on her balcony with her Bud and her cigarillo.
Just being, that is what she’s doing at night, alone, on her balcony. She takes a puff and a swig. In her mind, she is finally herself. She is happy to be there, just being her.
No one can touch her on her balcony. No one can interrupt her flow because she’s in the zone. She’s feeling her deepest darkest feelings and there is no one in sight to judge her. She takes another puff and a swig. What does it feel like to have peace of mind? She ponders…
Is this peace? Is this freedom? Do these concepts need to be physical, or can they be achieved in the mind with a little help from the stars or maybe from a simple puff and a swig? She wonders…
An interruption! Her neighbor storms outside shouting loudly about how the world has wronged him. As soon as she finds peace of mind, or whatever she thinks that is…she realizes it’s not enough and she wants more. She want’s companionship. She doesn’t want to be alone on her balcony with the stars. Her stars are nice and all but they never talk back…she doubts this statement as soon as she thinks it though. The stars do talk. She hears things from them, but they never touch her. They don’t offer the physical reassurance she craves.
This puff and swig hits different. Can the stars be her only friend? Does she desire solitude and open air as much as she thinks she does? Or does she actually desire humans to share in her appreciation of the magic that is the stars?
Is the Bud kicking in now? Have her lips been chapped and covered in resin this whole time? Gross! Why does she feel so gross all the time? She wonders…
As she looks to the stars, she remembers all her anxieties of the morning. Flashbacks of the day hit like lightning bolts! A jolt of electricity. She feels again.
Happiness is what she really wants. She’s solved it! She doesn’t want to be anxious anymore. She doesn’t want to feel good for a few minutes then feel gross and sad for hours. Does anyone actually feel happiness throughout the majority of their day? Is this possible? If so how can she obtain these feelings? She absorbs the possibilities, then takes another puff and a swig.
Deep breath. She knows she could be happy if she could just relax. She feels numb now. Then nothing. Just like that, she’s gone.
All she can feel is the Alcohol flooding through her veins now. So she takes another swig and a puff. That should make her feel better, or at least feel something again, she thinks.
Higher now. Her balcony is pretty high up off the ground, she notices. As she sits back in her fold up chair, she takes another deep puff and a large swig.
She looks up to the sky and it starts to spin in circles. The moon is dark and hiding somewhere out there, so the stars are the only light she has. The stars and the cherry on her Black and Mild. Then darkness strikes. Deep, black, darkness.
It’s morning now. The sun is creeping up on the horizon. She can’t figure out what the hell happened last night. Grabbing her head, hoping that will stop the nausea and throbbing, she feels lost. As her eyes gently close again, her brain settles. She’s awake now.
While her crusty eyes adjust, she sees that the world is watching again. Her neighbors stop and stare as she adjusts her flannel and wipes the drool from her mouth. Judge me if you want, she thinks to herself as she trips over a large pile of Budweiser cans. Who cares what they think? At least she had fun last night. She thinks…
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A Puff And A Swig Inspiration And Astrology
This post is inspired by one of my favorite albums, Kid Cudi’s Man On The Moon: The End Of The Day album.
Along with this album, this story was also inspired by the current Aquarius New Moon (2/11/21 at 1:06pm CT).
In a low form, Aquarius can be emotionally detached and irresponsible; while the moon governs our emotions, habits, and the unconscious. New moons in particular are great for setting new goals, dreaming up new ideas, etc. Think, new moon – new me! But also think baby steps, because the new moon is the very beginning of the cycle. You have a whole cycle to get through before you can just jump off and achieve all your goals, so take your time.
The story, A Puff and A Swig, comes into play during that space before the new moon. Really this article could be called the “Capricorn Waning Crescent Moon into Aquarius New Moon 2021 – A Puff and A Swig”, but that title is ridiculous! When the moon is in the waning crescent phase, it’s a time to zone out and rest. The new moon phase is a time to get out of “the zone” a little bit and start planning again.
If you feel like life is passing by too fast, and you can’t keep up with your goals (let alone start new ones) then new moon can be especially scary. Blasting some Aquarian tunes that are out of this world and hanging out in that waning crescent space is the best you can do, sometimes.
Birth Chart Bonus: Kid Cudi
With his natal Sun in Aquarius and Moon in Capricorn, Kid Cudi naturally embodies this waning crescent moon in Capricorn energy. Since Mercury is conjunct his Capricorn Moon, Cudi also has this poetic way of articulating his emotions through music. The Man on the Moon album is not just a stoner anthem album, it’s an intergalactic lyrical journey with a distinct beginning and ending.
“Each song is a message. All the hooks are stadium-worthy, crowd sing-along, powerful joints that I can’t wait for people to hear in stadium magnitude. My album definitely needs to be heard loudly, but it’s also a great album if you’re smoking and you need to go to sleep. So far I have the lineup of how I want the first seven tracks on my album and if I play the first seven from the beginning to the end, I’m zoned out and it’s the best trip ever. You need to be high to appreciate the instrumentation and how everything is put together on the album—but you don’t have to be high just to enjoy it in general.” –Kid Cudi quote from his Wikipedia page.
Aquarius New Moon Advice
So this Aquarius new moon, if you’re like me and feel overwhelmed, emotionally unattached, or just a tad irresponsible; give yourself some grace and feel what you need to feel. Bring awareness to your thought patterns but don’t get mad at them. It’s okay to detach and get spacey sometimes, in fact I believe it’s those moments where we truly find ourselves.
One beautiful thing about the moon is that the phases never stop cycling whether we flow with them or not. The unmet goals and the sadness will dissipate and a new beginning will come for us eventually. It may not be this moon, it may not be the next moon, but the moon has our backs – no matter what phase of our lives we are in we know we can always find comfort, consistency, and space to flow within the phases of the moon. We just have to look up and listen.
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