Welcome Pessimists! First I’d like to say that there is a place for you in this world. While it is important to acknowledge your thoughts and not let the deep dark ones consume you, we can’t all be full blown optimists all the time. You know the optimist; the person who is always smiling, telling you not to worry and to just be happy. That person who takes risks – has fabulous outcomes – and tells everyone that “if you can dream it, you can do it!” That person is important, but that person is not everything. Sure, no one likes someone who is a Negative Nancy all the time; but, Negative Nancy is the person who nurtures us, the person who says “maybe it’s not the best idea to jump off that cliff right now.”

Estimated reading time: 11 minutes

Negative Nancy is Equally as Important as Sunshine Sally.

I find that many healers on Social Media are bypassing the trauma we are experiencing this year. Many people are saying “but you can’t feel that way! Don’t be anxious, just stay positive and things will get better!” Like I mentioned before, we have to have positive thoughts to prevent us from spiraling in our anxious pits of despair; but, we have to balance the positive thoughts with negative thoughts. We can’t force positivity all the time. We have to acknowledge the negativity we are experiencing. The world is suffering and if we bypass that, we never get to the root of the problem and solve it. Would you want your brain surgeon to be like “Hey it’s all good! We just have to pray and have positive thoughts and things will get better!” or would you want them to say “There is an issue here and I am going to address this deep dark issue head on so we can heal it.”

We need a healthy balance of both.

I’m here to be honest and share with ya’ll how I feel. I’m here to inspire you so we can all heal the world, together. What I‘m not here to do, is spiritual bypass. I’m not here to say “stay positive! Every little thing is going to be alright!” I’m a pessimistic human being with feelings and it’s about damn time we acknowledge the pessimists and stop telling them to just shut up and be happy. Okur!?

Pessimists Unite!

So what’s causing me to go on this pessimistic rant? …it’s been a rough week. Countless times I felt like there was no hope. I felt sick. I drank too much after work. I cried. I’ve never lived through a flat out civil war. None of us have lived through a civil war with social media around! Shit, we may not even enter a civil war…but that feels highly unlikely at the rate we’re going…who determines when it officially becomes a civil war? How did America’s previous civil war actually start? What led up to it? Why are we back here? How do we fix it this time? See how fast the overwhelming thoughts creep into my head? I’m sure I’m not alone here.

The constant flow of information… mostly misinformation, is exhausting to say the least. Sure, social media has its perks. It’s brought us all together. It’s connected humans on a global scale. It’s personally helped me to find like minded people who share my love of astrology and tarot. Not many people were super interconnected and into planetary spirituality where I grew up so I am very thankful for the connections I’ve made online.

The Age of Aquarius

Here we are in 2020, in the age of Aquarius, using social media like our lives depend on it. I’m literally using it now to get this message out to you! I need it for that. I appreciate it for that. But that doesn’t mean all is well. I am not well. I am a human with feelings. Even though the Aquarius stereotype is to detach from emotions, I am here in the Inventive Age of Aquarius on an Aquarius Full Moon, and I am feeling. I am feeling overwhelmed by the constant flow of information online. I am feeling sickened by the constant sad news. I am feeling confused by the conflicting information I am seeing coming from every direction. But mostly I am feeling hurt and angry over the excessive hate and divide we are experiencing. I am hurt and angry that Republicans wanna blame Democrats AND that Democrats wanna blame Republicans. I am hurt and angry that the general public is not seeing the bigger issue, equal fucking human rights are NOT being met and will not be met with the systems that are currently in place in our government! *deep breaths Emmy, deep breaths!*

Like many people my age, I’m learning more information about politics everyday. If I want to change the direction we are headed and help bring love and equality to this country, I’m going to have to make an informed vote. I’m going to have to filter through the bull shit on the Internet and find the closest truth I can that reflects the current candidates and what they represent. This is positively overwhelming! It’d be 20 times easier to just pick a side and blindly vote from there…but I just can’t do that. I have to gather as many facts as I can, hello again Aquarius themes!!

Aquarius Keywords:

Technology, Humanitarian, Intelligent

The state of Missouri won’t let me vote by mail unless I have an excuse or medical condition, and as much as that scares me, I am going to have to get the fuck out of my house and vote anyway. I know I am not alone in feeling this fear.

In spending some quality alone time this year, I have been expanding my mind to solutions and new possibilities. I am seeing through lines that I have never seen before; but, I am struggling to find ways to share my knowledge with others. It’s sporadic and new in my mind and comes out of my mouth the same way. Most people feel like they know exactly how America should be functioning right now and are not listening to opposite sides of their arguments, myself included. How can we find ways to channel Aquarian themes and come together at this time?

Mars in Aries

(June 28, 2020- Jan 7, 2021)

Our old pal Mars is still in Aries (until the end of the year). Quick recap, this means, the planet of action (Mars) is in the sign of the self (Aries).

Mars Enters Aries June 28th 2020

Although powerful things can happen when we all sit with our deep dark shit and accept ourselves fully, many people have still not done this. They distracted themselves in quarantine, and they are distracting themselves now. It’s as if they are saying, “Sit with my thoughts? Ick! I’d rather die.” And as much as I get that, we can’t sit back and not talk about our Coronavirus feelings anymore, even if we sound pessimistic and whiny. Times are tough!

I’ve been trying to respect everyone regardless of whether they are still going out and acting like everything’s fine, or if they are staying home and distancing as much as possible. But I just can’t respect the people who are acting like everything is fine and are thinking I’m the problem for staying home! Respect is a two way street. I get that sitting with your thoughts is hard. I get that analyzing your conditioning and trauma can be excruciating. I admit that I am privileged to not have the same crippling trauma that some people have, but I have depressions and anxiety and I’m taking this time and sitting with my shit. (not literal shit, I’m sitting with my thoughts, feelings, and overall depression *shit*). I’m taking this time and addressing what the actual fuck I’m here on this earth for and why it is that I haven’t been doing anything to contribute to society for my 26 years of existence. Sitting with this makes me more depressed some days, but it makes me awakened and alive other days! Sitting with all this shit, shows me true peace. Sitting with darkness and deep thoughts shows me deeper meaning. Sitting with depression shows me who I actually am and what my unique contributing factor is for the collective.

You may be thinking, Emmy – I’ve tried to sit with my shit and my friends and family called me out for being too depressing. How do I work through my darkness and make sure people don’t worry about me?

Unfortunately in this current society, you can’t. People are so conditioned to think that optimism is the only way and that sadness is not acceptable and must be fixed immediately or avoided.

I am not writing this article to sound doom and gloomy and say that everyone should open their eyes and be pessimistic. I am writing this article so you know that it is OK to be sad sometimes. I am writing this article to show you that you are not alone. I am writing this article to not only show that you are not alone, but to show that you are a unique and important key to making America address it’s bull shit, and become a better country in the long run.

So How Do We Find Our Purpose Through Darkness?

Finding Purpose

I am discovering that my purpose is to show others the benefits of deep feelings, intuition, and empathy. My whole life I felt like crying was my weakness, but as I sit with my darkness, I see that being deeply empathetic and intuitive when it comes to emotions is my strength and is very much needed in this world.

You must carve our time to sit with your thoughts. In order to discover your purpose, you have to quiet the noise coming in from those around you. You can’t keep using the Internet to distract yourself. You can’t let your friends and family judge you for taking time to distance. However long you need!

When you take time to sit with your thoughts, you avoid angry social media outburst; you avoid making rash decisions; and you avoid burning out.

When you sit with your thoughts and learn how to navigate darkness, you avoid the deep shock and unpreparedness you will feel when the country shuts down again or a war zone breaks out in your neighborhood.

This healing process is ugly and painful. It’s just like a festering wound! You clean it up, you put some cream on it, you let it scab over, and it scars. It’s not pretty at any stage… unless you make it pretty, unless you accept it as a new part of yourself, and unless you learn to find beauty in the darkness it provides. (I personally have an obsession with scabs, scars, and the word fester. I think scars are so cool! But I’m one of those pessimistic, darkness junkies. It seems we are a rare find…so if you’re out there, we need you! Keep doing you!)

Leo Sun Opposite Aquarius Full Moon

(Aug 3rd 2020 @ 10:58a CT)

This whole year is a time for us to sit with our shit, address the darkness, cut out distractions, and slow the fuck down! So why aren’t we doing it? Why are we in such a rush to take our masks off and binge drink in bars again?

Remember the Keywords: Aquarius is associated with innovation, technology, and humanitarianism.

This Aquarius full moon is the perfect time to connect with yourself and discover how you can contribute your unique gifts to benefiting humanity. Get creative!

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Some Full Moon in Aquarius Questions to Ask Yourselves

(I’m asking them too)

How are my actions benefiting humanity? What is my stance on politics? Is my political stance benefiting humanity at large, or just myself? Are the political solutions I’m presented with going to benefit humanity in the long run, or are they just quick fixes?

What’s my connection to technology? How is technology going to propel us forward as we navigate the pandemic? How can I show gratitude for technology? How do I balance the excess technology consumption? When can I make time for cleansing my body in nature? How can I limit my social media/news intake, yet still stay informed?

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These are all questions that I will be asking myself this full moon. They are questions I have disconnected from out of fear and overwhelm. They are important questions that not only connect us to the Leo Aquarius duality we’re seeing this full moon, but they also help to restore the Leo Aquarius balance that is within all of us. Let’s all do our part to restore balance to this beautiful Earth that gives us life. This process starts with balancing the self, the optimist side AND the pessimist side.

Final Message

To the optimists out there, I love you and I respect you, but I will not bypass my feelings at this time.

To my fellow pessimists, I give you permission to feel darkness; I give you permission to dissect your deep dark thoughts; I give you permission to express sadness. Forced optimism is spiritual bypassing. While it’s true we break negative thought patterns by introducing positive ones, we can’t ignore the darkness that lies within. We have to face it head on before we can heal it.

Both optimists and pessimists contribute to humanity and provide us with deeper balance:

“The optimist invents the aeroplane, the pessimist the parachute.”

George Bernard Shaw (Leo Sun)

Keep reading for more philosophical content, like this post on what it means to be alive.